Kiddy High School
by prodigus feldspar
Summary: Eclair and Lumiere go to school...and experience spandex wearing teachers! A BDay fic To Flower Girl. Based on actual events! sort of... Oneshot.


From: Lacey

To: Jackie

Happy birthday Jackie! This is a side- present to you! (dun dun dun!) Thanks for helping me come up with it!

000

All who read this, this is for flower girl and is filled with inside jokes. Most of this is sorta of based on true events. (Example: I actually cut my pinky finger on the band saw in Tech. Ed. )

000

Éclair opened her eyes and sat up. She felt an ominous feeling sweep through her body.

She shuddered and looked at the clock.

"**12:30! I'M LATE!" **She screeched and began trying to find some decent clothes to put on.

_Ring ring ring_!

"Ugh." She groaned and picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"You're late again Éclair! You really should be more elegant! Ladies don't sleep in until lunch time!"

Éclair sighed, "I know Lumiere, I know! Ladies should be elegant and such…"

"Well," The blue haired girl on the other line sighed, "At least you memorized my catch phrase… By the way are you dressed yet?"

"Uh-"

"Éclair! Honestly! You've got to hurry up or we're going to miss the first day of high school!"

"Ok, ok! Relax Lumiere! I'll pick you up at your house in fifteen minutes, ok?" Éclair said, trying to put on a pair of jeans.

"Fine." Lumiere said and hung up.

000

Lumiere checked her watch and sighed.

_It has been half and hour and Éclair's **still** not here_! She thought as she waited out side of her mansion with her poodle, Yuki, by her side.

Lumiere cringed as she heard the screeching of tires and screams of her neighbors.

"Looks like she here." Lumiere muttered, "By Yuki!"

"Woof!" Yuki barked in response as Lumiere began trotting up to front gate.

A red car flew right in front of her, screeching to a stop.

She reached for the passenger door handle.

"Lumiere!" One of her neighbors yelled, "You stupid friend almost ran over my cat!"

"I-I'm sorry!" Lumiere said, bowing.

"Whatever…." The neighbor replied as Lumiere entered the car.

Lumiere froze, staring at her partner.

Éclair was crying.

"Éclair! What's wrong!"

"I-sniff I-I think I killed a kitty!" Éclair sobbed pitifully.

"It's ok," Lumiere said, hugging Éclair, "The cat is still alive."

Éclair began crying harder… Which caused Lumiere to start crying, which was flooding the poor car.

"Why are you still crying!" Lumiere choked.

"Be-Because…That m-m-m-means I failed my mission!" Éclair blubbered.

Lumiere stopped crying. "What? Excuse me?"

"Eclipse said that that kitty called her chubby, and wanted me to kill it." Éclair moaned, crying afresh.

Lumiere sighed; _our boss is such a psycho._

She patted the brunette on the back reassuringly, "She'll understand, Éclair. Don't worry about it!"

"R-Really?" Éclair sniffed.

"Yes, _really_."

"ALRIGHTY THEN!" Éclair shouted, flooring the gas pedal, "LET'S ROLL!"

Lumiere felt like crying again. _I can't believe I'm going to have classes with this weirdo._

000

After, amazingly, not crashing into any other vehicles along the way, Lumiere and Éclair arrived at Falcon Ridge High School.

As they walked into the spacious entry way they stopped and gawked.

Two female blonde gym teachers, one, who was wearing purple spandex, mind you! Was chasing a group of students with a giant whip, similar to Éclair's screaming, "Laps!" While the other teacher was screaming something about taking off points if students' livers explode.

All of a sudden, in a cloud of smoke, Armblast appeared in front of them.

"Uh, ok?" Éclair said.

Before Lumiere could question how he could appear out of a cloud of smoke, a girl with blue hair ran up and ripped the dot off of Armblast's head and began stomping on it.

In the midst of the blue haired girl's stomping, a brunette girl with a flower in her hair ran up and began shaking the blue haired girl violently, screaming, " I'M Sorry!"

The blue haired girl grabbed the flower out of the brunette's hair and said, "Yami-fishsticks!" and ran away.

The brunette turned to 2-D paper mache, and a sword came flying out of nowhere and stabbed her in the forehead, Havoc style!

She regained her composure and elegantly trotted after her psycho-friend.

_Silence._

000

1 hour later…

_Still silence._

"Writers are scary…" Lumiere whispered.

Armblast broke down in tears, "My-My dot!" He sobbed uncontrollably.

000

After ten minutes of listening to stupid Armblast cry Lumiere and Éclair headed to the office to get their class schedules.

"WAIT!" They heard Armblast yell, catching up to them.

"What?" said Éclair irritably.

"Well…I…uh…Have very unfortunate news for you both."

Éclair and Lumiere blinked.

"You won't be in any of the same classes. And throughout the entire year you'll only see each other at lunch unless you go to a poetry slam downtown."

The two GOTT agents froze.

"W-What…" Éclair said in disbelief.

"I said, you won't be in any of the same classes. And throughout the entire year you'll only see each other at lunch unless you go to a poetry slam downtown." Armblast said.

Éclair grabbed the collar of Armblast's shirt and began shaking him.

"What the hell!" She shouted, "You promised Lumiere and I could be in the same classes!"

Armblast pushed Éclair away from himself.

"I'm sorry, but we had a change in principals."

"Well, tell me where that stupid (Endless string of swearing) is!"

"Well, that's my cue to leave! Bye!" Armblast said and ran away into the distance.

Éclair stared at the speck in the distance known as Armblast.

"I can't believe him!" Éclair said turning around, "Lumiere can you-"

She gasped.

Lumiere was on her knees crying.

All of a sudden the brunette girl with a flower in her hair came out of nowhere, smashed Éclair of the head with a giant stick, ripped her papers in half and ran away crying.

This, of course, caused Lumiere to cry harder.

"I'M SORRY!" Lumiere sobbed, "I HATE SCHOOL!"

Éclair flinched, "D-Don't say that! We'll be able to have lu-OH FORGET IT! OUR LIVES ARE OVER! WAAAAHHHHH!"

000

After hating the world for about an hour two teachers, one male and one female began chasing Lumiere and Éclair, attempting to throw a mob of possums at them while yelling, "**YOU DON'T HAVE PASSES!**!"

000

_Eventually Lumiere and Éclair were herded into their houses by the rabid teachers._

"Hurry up! You're doing laps too slow Lumiere!" Yelled Mrs. S.

"B-But running isn't elegant."

Lumiere got hit with a whip and fell to the ground with a cry of pain.

_I hate this!_ She thought, _If only I could run like a Winhund!_

She got up and began running next to the school building.

Lumiere looked into the windows of the school as she passed them.

_Maybe I'll see-Ah! There's Éclair!_

Éclair was sitting in her seat, staring blankly at the white board with a bunch of blue lines around her head.

She looked out the window and gasped.

Lumiere looked away and Ran faster.

_I don't want her to see me struggling _She thought.

000

After 5 minutes of running Lumiere felt like she was going to die.

"Lumiere!" She heard a familiar voice say.

Lumiere turned around, "Éclair?"

Éclair was jogging behind her holding two strands of rope, a stick, and an annoying guy their age named Dylan.

"What are you planning on doing, Éclair?"

"You'll see!" And with a wink tied a piece of rope to each side of the stick. Next, she tied one end of rope to Dylan's waist and the other to Lumiere's and readjusted the stick so Dylan was hanging in front of Lumiere.

"Dylan called you stupid!" Éclair shouted.

"Dylan!" Lumiere snarled and began chasing after the boy. (This was kind of useless, because she wasn't making any progress. But that was Éclair's plan after all.)

000

After making her plan a total success, Éclair quickly snuck back into class unnoticed by her fellow classmates and Mrs. R.

000

Tech Ed/Shop class/whatever.

_Great, just great._ Éclair thought.

Mr. U Began explaining useless nonsense up on the white board.

After a few minutes he said, "Now get to work!"

Confused student wondered around the room, confused-like.

"DYLAN!" Mr. U screamed. Dylan flinched.

"Not you!" He said, pointing to Dylan, "The other Dylan! The one that's even more annoying and ugly than you!"

Dylan sighed, relieved.

Mr. U turned into giant octopi and began swallowing the uglier, more annoying Dylan whole.

Éclair, who didn't care, (Hey, I made a rhyme!) wondered over to the band saws.

"Ummm… This is Tech Ed…so…I have to cut stuff right?" She mumbled to herself.

She picked up a piece of wood (Which had knots in it!) and pressed a button on the saw.

It whirred to life menacingly.

Éclair gulped.

She pushed the wood towards the saw. It made a whining sound and began to cut the wood. Then, she tried turning the cut in the wood. Éclair pushed the wood too fast and cut her hand off.

The hand, for some unknown reason, went flying towards the opposite side of the room, smashed into the wall, and created Éclair-chunks, which splattered everywhere.

Éclair walked up to Mr. U, who was no longer an octopus.

"Ummm… Can I get a Band-Aid?" she asked.

"OMG! What did you _do_!"

"I, uh, just need a Band-Aid…"

"YOU NEED TO GO TO THE NURSES OFFICE!"

"…"

"Go! Now!"

"I'm fine…Really…"

The brunette with a flower in her hair ran through the room screaming in horror and worry.

All of a sudden Éclair's hand un-chunkified itself and crawled over to Éclair and reattached to her wrist.

Everyone in the room said "OMG!" in unison and walked away totally forgetting about Éclair.

000

Lumiere walked down the hallway to her next class…And Tripped!

"I did something inelegant!" She gasped in terror.

Lumiere felt something inside of her snap… and then…**SHE EXPLODED INTO A BILLION LITTLE LUMIERE CHUNKS!**

A dog walked by, "Oh, Snap!" It said and walked away.

000

After being given CPR by Sinistra Lumiere was all fine and dandy and merrily skipped away from the nurses' office.

Some annoying kid named Jace (Or however the hell you spell it!) Said, "Your name isn't Lumiere! You got that online! You don't actually have blue hair! You downloaded that off the internet!"

000

_A minute later_…

Alicia and Katie walked by the indoor school balcony thing.

"Hey! Isn't that Jace hanging by his shoe laces from the balcony? MUAHAHAHA!" Alicia said.

"Whatever…" Katie said and began writing a new chapter of "Super Nerd".

000

Éclair writhed on the ground.

"I…HATE…COMUNICATIONS!"

Mrs. R began writing on the board and froze.

She turned to Éclair.

"**YOUR CLOTHES ARE TOO REVEALING!**" She shrieked and melted into a puddle of goop.

"Ok…" Éclair said.

The brunette girl with the flower in her hair walked up to Éclair.

"I like your shirt," she said and walked away.

"Thanks" Éclair called.

The door to the communications room flew open.

Armblast popped his head in the doorway. "Hi! I'm Noel! GIRL POWER!"

Everyone in the class blinked.

Tweedledee stood up from her seat and pointed at Armblast.

"Tweedledum! Rip his ponytail off! It bugs me…" She commanded.

"Ok…" He said exited the room, dragging Armblast out of the room by his ponytail.

_Bing Bing Bing!_

Éclair smiled.

It was time for lunch.

000

After receiving her lunch, Éclair scouted the cafeteria and quickly saw Lumiere.

Lumiere had the stick with Dylan on her back, which had somehow managed to stay on, and was clawing his eyes out.

Éclair walked over to the table, cut the rope with scissors, and held onto Lumiere as Dylan ran away crying, like the girly-girl that he was.

"Hi, Éclair!" Lumiere said, forgetting Dylan, "you didn't get in trouble did you?"

"Nope!" Éclair said, smiling, and sat down.

She looked across the table. There were two brunettes sitting down at the table. One was staring at a group of boy with a far-away expression on her face while the other had her face buried in a book.

"Who are they?" Éclair said.

"That's Opal," Lumiere said pointing to the girl reading, "And that's Anna." Lumiere pointed to the other girl.

Anna put up her hand. "Boy scouting!" She replied and continued her staring.

The blue haired girl that they had seen earlier jumped on top of the table, holding a flower, screaming, "**OH SNAP!I'VE GOT IT! I'VE GOT JACKIE'S FLOWER!" **and was stampeded by a pack of dogs.

The dogs stampeded out the cafeteria windows. (Kicking Dylan in the face first, of course!)

The brunette, presumably Jackie, grabbed the flower daintily out of the blue haired girl's now smushed hand and put it in her hair.

"Wow! She's so elegant!" Lumiere said with sparkly eyes.

Jackie looked down at Ms. Blue-hair.

"NOOOOOOOO!" She shrieked, "LACEY! WHAT HAVE I DONE?"

Jackie commenced crying uncontrollably.

Opal looked up, saying, "Oh, hi Jacqueline! Hi, Lacey!" and began reading her book again.

Anna looked away from the boys, "Hi!" She said.

An old man walked by.

"MR. PITTERS!" She screamed and began chasing him, singing a song about "A glue stick, some glitter paint, words cut out of a magazine…" and so on and so forth.

"So," Lumiere said, "You want to eat with these people?"

Éclair smiled, "Sure."

Éclair sat down and looked over her new friends.

_A bookworm, a boy-obsessed-person, a blue-haired idiot, and a flower girl._

Éclair watched as Jackie and Lumiere began a deep conversation on the importance of elegance.

She leaned back in her chair and smiled.

_With new friends, maybe my first year at school won't be that bad at all._

END.


End file.
